A slow return

Hello dear souls.   This space has been very quiet for well over a month now.  As scared as I was to leave this space, it was a much needed break that my soul needed.  I was mostly afraid of the dear souls I have connected with in this space, would never return.  This space was started as a small spot for me to write down my feelings, and happenings, but I have formed some wonderful friendships along the way and I did not want to lose that.  I hope to see you all back here in time.  Thank you for everyones kind words on my last post way back in October, your words always bring me such comfort and Joy.  

The last month and a half have been so busy, but also quiet at just the right times.  I stepped back from a lot of social media, except for my dear Instagram (how I love you so!)

Mercury in retrograde along with familial happenings, left me feeling the need for quiet and space for myself and for my family.  During this time we welcomed a new family member with the birth of my sweet nephew Kaleb.  He is perfect, and squishy and just a ball full of love.  We are all head over heels in love with him. 

As much as I don't want to admit this, his birth is what sent me into a little bit of an emotional tailspin.   Whenever a new baby joins our clan of family and friends, it rips a small hole in my heart.  Not that they are not loved and welcomed beyond measure, because they are.  It just reminds me of the thing my husband and I long for most.    

During this same stretch of time, my beloved grams took a big downturn health-wise.  She has been on a steady decline for the last couple years, but this time I thought for sure we were going to lose her.  My mom moved in with her a couple years ago to help take care of her, but even with her being there and a steady stream of home health workers being there it just wasn't enough to provide her the kind of round the clock care she truly needs.  So with heavy hearts, the family decided to move her into a residential care facility.  It truly is a beautiful place with only four residents, and I love knowing that whenever she wants or needs something, someone is right there to take care of her.  Even though not having her home is heartbreaking.   

This was us a few years back.  She is the best person, with an insane sense of humor and the best laugh.  She taught me to read under a tree, she has seen me through heartbreak and the most wonderful times.  She has shaped me into a strong, independent, kind woman.  Without her I would be a much different person.  If you could take a moment to hold her in your thoughts, it would mean the world to me.  

Whew, that seems like an onslaught of sadness.  But just like everything the tides turn, and the shadows lift, and I start to feel like myself again.  I am here, the world is beautiful, and I am loved everyday.  And just like I know that dark feeling will come back, I know it will pass just as quickly.  I will make it through, just like we all do. 

There has been so much beauty these past few weeks as well, so much:

 Cozy, quiet nights spent at home with my beloved.

Cup after hot cup of tea.  Lindsay of Danmala has opened my eyes to so many new and exciting teas.  Not only different kinds, but new ways to enjoy and celebrate them.

Loads of family time.  I love them all so much.  This picture of my husband and nephew is going to be treasured forever.  

New stones and pendants discovered at a new to me local apothecary shop.  With the most insane, low prices.  This beauty was only $10!!

Lots of breakfasts at our favorite local french bakery, where the tea lattes are the size of my head.

Nights around the fire, one of my most favorite things about Autumn and Winter.

Cozy baby cuddles with baby K.  

 

Nieces and nephews who both turned three, and pinatas!!

An awesomely fun Halloween, and our annual haunted trail.

Connecting deeply with mama earth, and feeling her beauty and wonderment each day.

Sitting under my favorite tree, and finding sanctuary in our backyard.

Park time with our beautiful nieces.

Sunsets and sunrises of the holy variety.  These California skies have been filled with magic lately.  It is awe inspiring. 

This song on repeat from my favorite artist Laura Veirs:

I hope the last few weeks have been kind to you all.  I cannot wait to catch up with all of you in the blog world. xoxo

The Journey

The Journey

 One day you finally knew 

what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.   

~Mary Oliver

These last couple weeks have been filled with so much joy and heartbreak.  Some deep feelings have come up lately that I long thought I buried.  Working through some deep shit here, and asking for all your love and good thoughts as I wade through it.  Feeling a little lost, and as always when that happens I find myself burying my nose in Mary Oliver poems.  Deep, dark truth she spills.  Her words healing and ripping me open all at once.  I know the light is there at the end of the tunnel, and I know I will find it.  But for right now, all I have are tears and a constant lump in my throat.   Broken, wide open.

Fall you are my favorite

We have fully embraced the season around these parts.  Everything about Fall makes my heart happy.  The coziness, the shift in the light, the pumpkin everything that graces store shelves.  All of it, I LOVE it.  The first day of Fall was the most beautiful day here in San Diego.   It was in the low 70's with a slight cool breeze.  The quintessential SoCal weather.   The husband and I decided to head up to one of our local mountain towns to pick apples, and buy some local cider they brew up there. 

It helps to have a husband who is 6'5" to pick the good ones at the top.  The apples were perfectly ripe, organic, and so sweet.  You could smell them in the air.  

I love this guy so much, like it is ridiculous.  

Our haul for the day.  Fourteen pounds of apples, my favorite cider, and some ornamental corn for decorating.  We also picked up some honey from our favorite honey shack.  It was the perfect day.  I wish every Sunday could be like this.  Not only was it a beautiful day, but the boy and I had some really deep conversations that left me feeling even more connected to him. He has such a beautiful heart, it is truly an honor to walk through this life with him by my side.  It was a recharge day on all levels.  

This is on our drive to the apple orchard.  Right at the bottom of this hill is my favorite rock/crystal shop too.  I love going there, and I picked up some new beauties.

Fluorite, black tourmaline, and I am always a sucker for a beautiful piece of citrine.  I have big plans for that citrine piece.  I hope what I have pictured in my mind turns out how I imagine.  We shall see...

I also did some decorating around the house.  I usually put up a ton of Halloween decorations, but for some reason it just didn't feel right this year.  I really just feel like being surrounded by Autumn fully, and really want to soak it in this year.  I have been feeling especially so close to the earth lately, and really just want a lot of earthy, warm elements to surround us. I want to marinate in it.

Fourteen pounds of apples, means homemade applesauce.   I made a TON of it, and have been loving every bite.  So good warm and cold.  I may have had it on top of ice cream and on top of pumpkin bread.  So good.  

My favorite recipe is so easy.  I use a crockpot to even make it easier.

~12-14 apples cored, semi-peeled, and diced

~1 cup water

~juice of 1 lemon

~2 vanilla beans scraped

~2 tbls. of sweetener of your choice (I use coconut sugar)

~2 tbls. pumpkin pie spice

Mix all ingredients, cook on low for 5 hours.  Mash to your liking.  Can or keep in fridge for up to two weeks. 

Leaves everywhere, because why the hell not?  

I won this Shanna Murray decal about a year ago from a blog giveaway.  I had completely forgot about it, until we were cleaning some closets out.  The husband hung it up, and I love it so much.  Really all her decals are pretty damn awesome.  

Trader Joe's has the damn pumpkin jackpot again this year.  I mean they really have pumpkin everything, everywhere.  Lucky for me my choices are pretty limited being GF, otherwise I probably would have bought everything in sight.  These pumpkin macaroons are so good.  Just the right amount of sweetness, and that perfect macaroon texture.  I love that you keep them in the freezer and just defrost the amount you want to snack on.   TJ's is killing it with their Fall flowers this year too.  I love that all their bunches are only $3-5 too.  The ones above were only 4 bucks, and I love them.  It is a little luxurious treat that I buy myself every week.  Because we could all definitely use some more self care. 

Speaking of pumpkin, I made this pumpkin spice syrup from Ally of Aquarian Soul Designs blog.  So, so good and I have been making tea lattes with it every morning.  

                                         

         

I also ordered some Autumn tea from the magical Lindsay of Danmala Teas.  I ordered The Great Pumpkin Pie and Sleepy Hollow and they are both so delicious.  Perfect for these cooler months.  As always her beautiful packaging and little touches make it even more special.  How beautiful is that tea gem?  Also, the cutest little sugar skull too.  

Also this beauty arrived this week, on the perfect day.  I was having an uber hard, super shitty day.  I may have even locked myself in the bathroom to cry a couple times.  Ugh.  Amulet magazine is gorgeous, and filled with earth based, seasonal living tips, stories, rituals, and the most beautiful layout. It is truly a work of art, and I love reading through each issue.  I usually only order the digital copy, but I splurged on the Autumn issue and ordered it in print.  Worth every penny.

I hope you all are easing into the beauty of this season, and having a wonderful start to Autumn. xo

Recharge

My little blog is starting to feel neglected, but to be honest I really haven't had much to say.  I am drained, to my core really. Work is exhausting, more than usual because Summer is my busiest time.  I love my job about 90% of the time, but lately it is seriously kicking my ass.  Caring for kids, and then mixing special needs kids into it, can literally bring me to tears some days.  I love them all dearly, but it is definitely time for a break for this lady. Life outside work is starting to feel like it is getting back into a normal routine somewhat, but I am just so tired.  Burnt out.  The good news is tomorrow is my last day of work and then I have 10 days of vacation.  We are heading up to Oregon for a few days to visit some of our friends that live up there.  Then just rest and recharge for the remaining days.  I have been looking forward to having a break for so long, I am so excited it is finally here.  Time for a recharge on ALL levels.

This past Sunday we kicked off our little recharge with a picnic by the lake with friends.

The weather was beautiful, perfect really.  Warm with a nice breeze.   This lake is actually in the same place where we hike.  The trails are in the surrounding foothills around it.  I love that this place is a five minute drive from our house.

  Isn't that paisley tablecloth awesome? My mom found it while searching through some of her old boxes in storage.  She used to have it hanging on her wall before I was born.  I am seriously in love with it.

We all chipped in and rented a motorboat for the day.  It was super fun to take it out.  Well, that was until our motor stopped working and my brother and husband had to try to use the oars.  Lets just say I almost peed from laughing so hard.  The two of them trying to paddle together = pure frickin comedy.  The motor started working again, thank goodness!

Such an abundance of yummy food, it was so nice to just sit and catch up with everyone without having to rush to be somewhere.  Also, if you ever see that Joia soda anywhere you shop, you need to pick it up.  It is like a all natural party in your mouth, trust me.  

The littles definitely had a good time too.  We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome kids.  Seriously, they are the best.  We love them all so much.  

Juli even got to come for a few hours.  It was so good to have her with us all, and to see her out and about.   There is still a long road of healing ahead, but she is able to walk around with a cane.  I count my blessings everyday she is still here.  

It was a wonderful day indeed.  Wherever you are I hope you are having a good week.  And if I don't say it enough, thank you for taking the time to visit this little space of mine.  I appreciate each one of you so much. xo

Red tent ritual kit & a giveaway!

Moontime, period, time of the month, Aunt Flo.  Whatever you call it, we all endure the monthly gift we are given.   I don't know about you, but mine is tumultuous at best.   Cramps, mood swings, and zero energy are just par for the course around here.  As I have gotten older, and been on and off fertility drugs for the past few years it has only gotten worse for me.  I am a huge proponent of a holistic lifestyle, but when my moontime rolls around my bottle of ibuprofen and I become best friends.   I really do not like putting anything non-natural into my body, but for a long time that was just the way it is.    I know this subject is still pretty taboo, and most women are really afraid to talk about it.  Even though mine is tough every month, I really do believe it is something we can all bond over.  When we open up and talk about it, it leads us to a better understanding not only of ourselves, but women as a whole.   We should be able to open up and share what works for ourselves, and how you listen to your body each month.   I have been looking for different ways to honor my body when my moontime is here, and have really been trying to be patient with my body and listen to what it needs during that time.  Self care is a huge part of that for me.  This past month I received a Red Tent Ritual Kit from Lindsay of Whole Body Alchemy.  If you have read some of my past posts you know how much I love Lindsay and her gorgeous offerings she has.  She truly makes magic, and each offering she has is full of love and intention.  This kit is no exception.  It is filled with beauty, and some beautiful ways to honor yourself and your body.

This is what you receive in the Red Tent Ritual Kit.  A 2 oz. tin of handcrafted tea, a kit on how to craft your own moon bag, and also a copy of Moondaughter's  moontime e-book, which includes worksheets and rituals.   Isn't it all beautiful?  I received mine just in time for my moontime.  When the time felt right, I sat down and brewed myself a cup of tea, and used Lindsay's guidelines to make my moon bag.

More about the tea in Lindsay's words:

This blend was inspired by a dream a dear friend had about me creating a feminine infusion for our monthly moon. 

Lovingly prepared using gemstone infusion of Moonstone, Carnelian,  Unikite and  sacred mantra.

Moonstone is gentle and soothing and encourages you to "go with the flow".  Carnelian is associated with the root and sacral chakras - it stabilizes energy and is known to revitalize the blood. Unikite is a gentle yet powerful stone that brings about connection and aids in female reproductive health. 

::Earthy and floral with a mildly spicy and fruity finish::

Organic botanical blend of: Red Raspberry leaf, Saw Palmetto Berries, Hibiscus, Shatavari, Vitex berries, Red rose petals and buds & Ginger root a little ,magic and a lot of love

I made mine with a little honey and it was warm and comforting.  I sat down in a quiet spot to make my moon bag.  So many beautiful offerings are included to craft yours, a beautiful hand painted stone, cedar leaves, feathers, seashells, little stones.  I added a few things of my own that felt right for me.   My moonstone pendant, snowy quartz (for tiredness),  chrysocolla (for cramps).  

I also included a little love note to myself, I put each piece in and filled the bag with healing and love.  I sealed it up, and I slept with it under my pillow or carried it with me when I was out of the house.  It brought me comfort having it near.  Now when each moontime rolls around, I am going to open it and add or remove things that feel right to me at the time.  

I also set aside a few minutes each day to work through Moondaughter's e-book.  It includes a load of tips, recipes, and wisdom to help you look at your body in a new light and truly celebrate the goddess we all have within us.  I loved sitting down and working through it each day.  

Now here comes a special treat for you.  Lindsay has lovingly and generously offered up one of her Red Tent Ritual Kit's to one of you!  All you have to do is leave a comment below, telling me how you would use this kit to honor yourself.   I will pick a winner next Monday the 8th!

To learn more about Lindsay and her offerings, please visit her site Whole Body Alchemy.  There is a lot of magic there to explore....

To gluten or not to gluten?

Hello to you!  I hope you all had a gorgeous weekend, ours was busy but definitely a good one. The weather here has been so nice, I am trying to appreciate every minute of it before the oppressive Summer heat sets in.   

About a month ago I made the decision that I was going to go gluten free.  It seems like everyone is going gluten free these days, I am seeing more and more gluten free products everywhere.  From food to body care, it seems to be all around.   To be honest at first I really did think it was a trend, but the more I have researched and read about it, the more I understand why so many people have jumped on board with it.    I have read so many stories and talked to people that have said that since they went gluten free their overall health has improved dramatically in all areas.  The reason I was so intrigued by a GF diet was that most people who go GF usually have their eczema disappear, and it is really good for boosting fertility.  Thank goodness my husband is so supportive in this too.

 So, I talked to my doctor at my last appointment and had the celiac test done just in case, and it came back negative.  But my doctor was supportive and gave me some tips on going gluten free.  She suggested starting slowly over a period of a couple weeks and take my time in eliminating gluten products from our diet.   I started about three weeks ago and started switching out our usual meals from gluten free versions, and early next week we are officially going to be 100% gluten free.  I decided that the best place to start would be after my moontime, because lets face it, at least for me I am not in the best frame of mind when it comes to that time of the month.  I have decided to try it for 30 days and see how we feel after those 30 days.  The one thing I can say about the last couple of weeks is that my energy definitely seems higher, and my skin is much clearer than it was.  My hope with this new change in diet is that my energy will continue to grow, my eczema will disappear and we will overall feel better.

Here are some great sites I have found with some good info and wonderful recipes.

Gluten Free Goddess

Lacy and Meg

Clean

  I know my biggest challenge is going to be giving up homemade pizza, it is my favorite.  I would love to hear from you about going GF.  Recipes, favorite products, advice, positive or negative results?

**Also thank you to my friend Dawn for encouraging me in this, and making me feel less alone in this new journey**

How to: Make your own elderberry-honey syrup

Today I thought I would share a recipe that is part of our daily health routine.  Elderberry syrup has literally changed our lives.  I first learned of elderberry syrup a couple of years ago, when it was recommended to me to use as a homeopathic treatment for a flu/cold I was battling.  I took some store bought syrup and it helped tremendously, even though it was pretty pricey.  Fast forward a bit, and I started reading more and more about the benefits of elderberries and not only them being used during sickness, but also to prevent illness.   

Here is some info from Herbwisdom about the benefits of elderberries: 

Elderberries have been a folk remedy for centuries in North America, Europe, Western Asia, and North Africa, hence the medicinal benefits of elderberries are being investigated and rediscovered. Elderberry is used for its antioxidant activity, to lower cholesterol, to improve vision, to boost the immune system, to improve heart health and for coughs, colds, flu, bacterial and viral infections and tonsilitis. Bioflavonoids and other proteins in the juice destroy the ability of cold and flu viruses to infect a cell. People with the flu who took elderberry juice reported less severe symptoms and felt better much faster than those who did not. Elderberry juice was used to treat a flu epidemic in Panama in 1951.

I can truly attest to the benefits of these little magic berries.  My husband and I  have been taking small doses of the syrup everyday for the past 7 months and this is the first cold and flu season that neither of us have gotten sick.  As most of you know I run a daycare out of my house, and getting sick usually just comes with working with small kids.  But not this year, not even the sniffles.  

So, since the syrup can run upwards of $20-25 dollars for a 4-6 oz bottle in the store, I thought I would share our recipe to make your own for much, much less.   This recipe makes 32 oz.  You can easily half it to make a smaller batch if you want.  Here is what you will need to make your own syrup.

~4 cups water

~1 cup of dried elderberries*

~2 cinnamon sticks

~fresh ginger (about a 2 inch piece, peeled)

~2 tsp. whole cloves

~2 cups honey (if you can get your hands on local, raw honey, that is best)

~A large glass bottle or jar 

~small strainer/sieve

~medium saucepan

~funnel

*Elderberries can be found in bulk at most health food stores or on Amazon or Mountain Rose Herbs. 

Once you have all your supplies gathered, you are going to grab your saucepan and put it on medium heat.  Add water, elderberries, cloves, ginger, and cinnamon sticks.  Give it all a good stir, and bring to a gentle boil.   Once it starts to boil, give it another good stir and reduce heat to simmer.  Cover with lid and let simmer for 20-25 minutes

While the mixture is simmering, take your bottle or jar and add your 2 cups of honey to it.  I use a funnel since my bottle has a small top.  

After about 20 minutes check the elderberry mixture.  It should be reduced to about half the original liquid.  Give it another good stir and remove from burner. Remove large solids (cinnamon, ginger) Toss in trash or compost.

For the next step you are going to need you sieve or strainer and funnel.  Put strainer in funnel and add the warm elderberry juice to your bottle of honey.  Make sure to use a spoon to squeeze all the yummy juice out of your elderberries.  Discard or compost solids.

Once all the juice is added, it will look like this:

Give it a really good shaking to mix the honey with the juice, and VOILA!  Your own elderberry syrup for a fraction of the price.  Make sure you refrigerate your mixture, and it will last for up to six months in the refrigerator. 

The daily dose for adults is 1-2 tsp. daily and 1/2 tsp for kiddos. Remember herbs are medicine and should be treated as such.   I haven't read any info that elderberries interact with any other medicines, but if you are on medication, you might want to ask your doctor or naturopath to make sure.

Enjoy!!