A slow return

Hello dear souls.   This space has been very quiet for well over a month now.  As scared as I was to leave this space, it was a much needed break that my soul needed.  I was mostly afraid of the dear souls I have connected with in this space, would never return.  This space was started as a small spot for me to write down my feelings, and happenings, but I have formed some wonderful friendships along the way and I did not want to lose that.  I hope to see you all back here in time.  Thank you for everyones kind words on my last post way back in October, your words always bring me such comfort and Joy.  

The last month and a half have been so busy, but also quiet at just the right times.  I stepped back from a lot of social media, except for my dear Instagram (how I love you so!)

Mercury in retrograde along with familial happenings, left me feeling the need for quiet and space for myself and for my family.  During this time we welcomed a new family member with the birth of my sweet nephew Kaleb.  He is perfect, and squishy and just a ball full of love.  We are all head over heels in love with him. 

As much as I don't want to admit this, his birth is what sent me into a little bit of an emotional tailspin.   Whenever a new baby joins our clan of family and friends, it rips a small hole in my heart.  Not that they are not loved and welcomed beyond measure, because they are.  It just reminds me of the thing my husband and I long for most.    

During this same stretch of time, my beloved grams took a big downturn health-wise.  She has been on a steady decline for the last couple years, but this time I thought for sure we were going to lose her.  My mom moved in with her a couple years ago to help take care of her, but even with her being there and a steady stream of home health workers being there it just wasn't enough to provide her the kind of round the clock care she truly needs.  So with heavy hearts, the family decided to move her into a residential care facility.  It truly is a beautiful place with only four residents, and I love knowing that whenever she wants or needs something, someone is right there to take care of her.  Even though not having her home is heartbreaking.   

This was us a few years back.  She is the best person, with an insane sense of humor and the best laugh.  She taught me to read under a tree, she has seen me through heartbreak and the most wonderful times.  She has shaped me into a strong, independent, kind woman.  Without her I would be a much different person.  If you could take a moment to hold her in your thoughts, it would mean the world to me.  

Whew, that seems like an onslaught of sadness.  But just like everything the tides turn, and the shadows lift, and I start to feel like myself again.  I am here, the world is beautiful, and I am loved everyday.  And just like I know that dark feeling will come back, I know it will pass just as quickly.  I will make it through, just like we all do. 

There has been so much beauty these past few weeks as well, so much:

 Cozy, quiet nights spent at home with my beloved.

Cup after hot cup of tea.  Lindsay of Danmala has opened my eyes to so many new and exciting teas.  Not only different kinds, but new ways to enjoy and celebrate them.

Loads of family time.  I love them all so much.  This picture of my husband and nephew is going to be treasured forever.  

New stones and pendants discovered at a new to me local apothecary shop.  With the most insane, low prices.  This beauty was only $10!!

Lots of breakfasts at our favorite local french bakery, where the tea lattes are the size of my head.

Nights around the fire, one of my most favorite things about Autumn and Winter.

Cozy baby cuddles with baby K.  

 

Nieces and nephews who both turned three, and pinatas!!

An awesomely fun Halloween, and our annual haunted trail.

Connecting deeply with mama earth, and feeling her beauty and wonderment each day.

Sitting under my favorite tree, and finding sanctuary in our backyard.

Park time with our beautiful nieces.

Sunsets and sunrises of the holy variety.  These California skies have been filled with magic lately.  It is awe inspiring. 

This song on repeat from my favorite artist Laura Veirs:

I hope the last few weeks have been kind to you all.  I cannot wait to catch up with all of you in the blog world. xoxo

Love soaked weekend

This past weekend was a good one.   We threw a big BBQ this past Sunday at our house to celebrate some birthdays of loved ones in both our families.  We are so blessed that our families get along so well, and truly love each other.  It has been a wonderful thing to watch a strong friendship grow between my mom and my husbands mom.  

The day was wonderful.  So much yummy food, even yummier company, and the weather was gorgeous.  High 70's with a nice cool breeze.  We couldn't have asked for a better day.  

The most beautiful weather.

The nephew close to watermelon overload

That is my mom jumping in there with my nieces

My hubs is such a good uncle, he is going to make the best dad someday.

A early evening stop at the ice cream truck. 

A perfect end to a great day, watching the moonrise through our bedroom window.

Truly a love soaked, happy day.  Even though we were both exhausted that night.  Yesterday we spent the day lounging at home in our PJ's all day, which we never get to do.  It felt so good to be lazy and just relax.   I also was so proud of myself, because I told myself I wasn't going to log into Facebook all weekend, and I stuck to that.  Three days, and I didn't even miss it.  Not once.  When I logged in this morning I had 153 notifications.  Ugh. 

I hope you all had a beautiful weekend as well.  Tomorrow I will be back with a how to post on how to make your own elderberry-honey syrup. 

Flower power

This year one of my goals was to discover and visit places in San Diego that either I have never been to or haven't visited since I was very young.  I take for granted what a special place this city is, and I don't want to to do that anymore.  I want to take full advantage of the gifts Southern California offers.  This weekend a group of us decided to visit the Carlsbad Flower Fields.  I have not been there since I was a teenager, and I am so happy we went.   In the words of the Flower Fields:

For over sixty years, Mother Nature has transformed the rolling hills of North San Diego County into one of the most spectacular and coordinated displays of natural color and beauty anywhere in the world. The nearly fifty acres of Giant Tecolote Ranunculus flowers that make up The Flower Fields^® at Carlsbad Ranch, in Carlsbad, California, are in bloom for approximately six to eight weeks each year - from early March through early May - literally bringing the famous fields back to life. This annual burst of color, which has become part of the area's local heritage, is also one of nature's official ways of announcing the arrival of spring here in Southern California.

Or in my own words, straight up MAGICAL.  

Let me tell you that these pictures do not do this place justice.  The fields are the most vibrant colors and full of so much beauty.  We went on this awesome tractor ride around the whole sixty acres, it was an fantastic tour with lots of history shared. 

I have a soft spot for ranunculus flowers, and to see this many in every shade imaginable was truly awe inspiring.  

Yellow will always hold the number one spot for me though.  This truly went on for as far as the eye could see.  It took all my strength to not jump right and there and go for a frolic.

The sweetest little fairy garden, complete with the story behind fairies and where to find them.

The hubs with me and our nephew.  Seriously are we not the luckiest auntie and uncle ever?  The cute factor alone is enough to melt my heart, not to mention he is such a sweet little boy with such a beautiful spirit. 

If you are ever in the San Diego area and are looking for something unique and fun to do, I could not recommend this place enough.  It was such a fun day spent with so many people we love.  I could not ask for anything more. 

Easter beauty

Easter was so wonderful this year, well it really is every year but this one was exceptionally beautiful.   We woke up bright and early and decided to start our morning with a hike at a nearby trail, with some of our good friends who we don't get to see as much as we wish we could.

  

We even ran into the Easter bunny!

It was such an awesome way to kick off the day, and so nice to spend some time with nature.   Being outside and in nature has always been my favorite form of worship.  I feel most like myself when I am outdoors and soaking in all mother nature has to offer us. It makes me not only feel connected more to myself, but to all living things.  

Humankind has not woven the web of life.
We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.
All things are bound together.
All things connect.

Chief Seattle, 1854

  After our hike, we headed up to our families house about 45 minutes from where we live.   They live in a beautiful part of San Diego County, and I love visiting there.  It is out in the middle of nowhere and it is so peaceful and quiet.  

Not a bad view to wake up to everyday.

The cutest niece and nephew ever.  The brother is pretty handsome too.

Wild Poppies growing on their property.

The egg hunt is on!

The husband making new friends.

It was a beautiful afternoon spent with the people we hold most dear, just how a holiday should be. I hope you all had a happy Easter.  Also, happy April to you all!  I cannot believe a new month is already upon us.