Monday, February 17, 2014


Its been awhile again, hasn't it?  There is so much I want to share and so much I need to spill.  Emotionally I am not ready to write about the loss, the pain, the heart wrenching grief of losing my grams.  I will share soon, very soon.  

Today I want to mark an anniversary of sorts.  I am a member of a club I never wanted to be part of, and it has been almost 6 years of loss and longing.  I thought I would share this poem I wrote a few months ago after a very vivid dream I had of a girl who I know was supposed to be ours.  It was one of those dreams that was so real, that when I woke up I could not make sense of where I was.  


I close my eyes and drift away...
There she is, waiting. Hands held out....for us.

Blonde curls, wide eyes, freckles like her daddy.

We walk along the sand, her, him, me.
She is ours, we are hers.

Sun glints, sandy feet, shells, laughter.
The perfect day.

No, don't wake.....not yet.
Please keep me here, if only for a few moments.

Then she is gone.
Longing, waiting....

All the tears, loss, blood, hoping.

She may only be made of stardust and dreams...

But she is ours, and we are hers.

Two very beautiful posts from women who are on their own journey of loss:


  1. /hugs
    I am here for you whenever you are ready to come into this space and open.
    Sending love and good vibrations your way lovely <3

  2. Hollie, I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your Grams. So obviously a huge light in your life~ love that picture of you kissing her rosy cheek and her radiant smile, bathed in love.
    So beautiful your poem of your little girl. I believe she is waiting in the wings and wished to let you know by her appearance in your dream :)
    When I miscarried through invitro, I was in deep grief. My neighbor came over and was sitting with me and for some odd reason, I took comfort in his presence. He never said much, just kind of sat quietly. Then, he said: "When something, or someone very dear to you is taken, something particularly precious will be given back." Truly, I was later gifted with the biggest gift in my life, my son, Matthew.
    I never forgot his words and when I see a very dear soul departing earth, I'm always inclined to believe: somebody special is coming around the corner.

  3. So much love, sweet and luminous soul. Thank you for reaching out and connecting ... your words are achey and healing all at once. I'm so sorry for all you've gone through. Sending deep love. xoxo.