Radio silence

Things have been a little quiet in this space lately haven't they?  Last week was such a crazy, emotional ride.  I blame the supermoon and the crazy energy surrounding it.  It really left me feeling like I just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.  I felt myself retreating and not really finding anything to say.  I started a new ecourse too that I blogged about here, and to be honest it opened up a whole slew of emotions for me.  In the best way.  It also has left me needing quiet and space too.  Time to heal, my heart and my mind.  Give myself space to be quiet. It is a beautiful course, we are only in the second week and it has just left me feeling so full of love and beauty.  

Then Saturday night rolled around.  I was home attempting to make my first batch of GF chocolate chip cookies, when our home phone rang.   It was the hospital, saying that one of my best friends and soul sisters Juli had been in a major car accident and that they had her and her boyfriend in an ambulance being transported to trauma.  Her phone was lost in the accident and the only number she could remember was our home phone.  Needless to say, I jumped in my car and drove the 10 minutes to the hospital, alone.  My husband was at work.  I called my sister in law who also happens to be one of our best friends and lives right along the way and she came with me. Since I wasn't family, I wasn't given a lot of information on the phone.  The social worker made it sound extremely serious, so lets just say those 10 minutes driving felt like a fucking eternity.  I couldn't think straight and even made two wrong turns. 

When I got there she had just arrived and I was given little info.  I finally was able to get ahold of her mom, and she arrived shortly after.  She is going to be ok, but it is going to be a lot of recovery ahead of her.  Broken clavicle, broken foot, broken ribs, soft tissue damage to her hip.  Watching her be in so much pain is horrible, and it makes me feel so helpless.  A damn driver turned right into them and hit them head on, and of course he walked away without a scratch on him.  I am so thankful that she will recover and that it wasn't much worse.  So many of the emergency workers are saying how lucky they are and how it is amazing how they do not have any internal injuries or head trauma.  SO THANKFUL.   She has surgery tomorrow, and will be in the hospital through the weekend, her boyfriend got discharged today and had surgery to put some screws and plates in his foot on Sunday. It could've been so much worse.   But holy moly, does our circle of friends know how to rally in a crisis.

Someone has been with her day and night, she has never been alone and it has let her mom get some rest too.   

This is the tattoo that we both have.  She is my kindred soul sister, I will be forever thankful that she will recover from this. 

Please keep them both in your thoughts and please send healing vibes if you are able.  Prayers, vibes, juju.  We will take whatever you can send.  I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. 

  

Full Supermoon tonight!

Tonight is the third Supermoon of 2013!  A supermoon is defined as: 

… a new or full moon which occurs with the moon at or near (within 90% of) its closest approach to Earth in a given orbit.

This months moon is known as the deer moon or buck moon, or also as the thunder moon.  It is called the deer or buck moon because this is the time of year when bucks start to grow new antlers.  It is also called the thunder moon because July is the month with the most thunderstorms of the year.  

I am hoping to get a decent view of lady luna tonight, even though our skies here have been pretty cloudy over the last few days.  As I do every full moon, I made an moon altar to honor luna.   I also like to charge/cleanse the full moons energy into a few items that are most precious to me.  

My favorite ring and necklaces, a few of my favorite stones, crystals, and shells.  Also a new bracelet that a friend made for me.   I sprinkled it with some mums and herbal offerings to bring some feminine energy and healing my way.  It also has my favorite hand painted stone that came with my Red Tent Ritual Kit.  

Do you use the full moon to charge or cleanse stones or items that are precious to you?

You can read more about tonights moon here.

Happy full moon to you!

This moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. A tradition started by Soulemama.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Happenings and a gluten free update

Lately things have been a whirlwind of happenings.  So much has been going on every minute it feels like there has been zero downtime.   It has felt like July is just whooshing by at a frantic pace.  I cannot believe the month is half over!  

For the past couple of months, my hubby and I have taken up hiking almost everyday after work.  We have an amazing place that is literally a five minute drive from our house.  It has endless trails, and is so beautiful.  It has become such a great stress reliever for me at the end of the day.  Working 10.5 hours everyday with 6-7 kids (two who are autistic) running around our house takes its toll.  Hiking has not only forced me to get my butt in better shape, but I can literally feel myself breathe easier after we are done.  We usually end up doing about 2-5 miles a night depending on how much time we have and what trails we pick.  With views like these, it isn't hard to get motivated.

We are always meeting new friends along the way too, like this cute little snake.  We have also come across coyotes, hawks, tortoises, giant bullfrogs, and tons of rabbits. 

As much as I have tried to be a girl who loves the gym, I just don't.  I cannot sit there and stare at the walls, while climbing or running nowhere.  I need fresh air and nature, it is just who I am.  I need to sweat it out with the sun shining down.   

Our local fair was also in town for about a month.  The San Diego County Fair comes to town every summer and runs through most of June until the 4th of July.  It has been a tradition to go every year since I was a little girl.  Usually it is all about the gross (but delicious) fair food for us.  We like to try weird stuff, and there is plenty of it.  Deep fried Kool-Aid anyone?  This year it was a pretty big challenge for me to go for a full day and have such limited options to eat with having a GF diet.  I have to say my willpower was in full effect, and I made it out with just eating salad and a grilled chicken kabob.  I felt pretty damn proud of myself, especially when my family was sitting around me eating lobster rolls, battered potatoes, and kettle corn.  The best part of the fair though for me is the ferris wheel.  I have gone on it every year for as long as I can remember.  It is my favorite at sunset, and this year we got on at the perfect time.  Our fair takes place pretty much right near the ocean and the ferris wheel has an amazing view of mama ocean from the top.

The view from the top

I mean seriously?  Doesn't get much better than that.

We have also been busy bees in the garden this summer.  Loads of squash, green beans, and zucchini on a daily basis.  I love the feeling of walking outside and bringing nourishment into your body that you grew yourself.  It is almost magical.  We also have corn that is almost ready and we are starting to plant our pumpkins this weekend.  Last year we had about 10 sunflowers that we grew and they did amazing, so this year I went a little crazy and planted them all over our yard.  I mean everywhere.  Last week they started to pop up and I am so excited to watch them grow.

Here are a few by our front yard fence, if all goes according to plan it is going to be an epic sunflower fest around these parts!  

Summertime also means broody hens here.  One of our girls Bess has been broody for the last couple weeks.  She confines herself in one of the nesting boxes all day to sit on a clutch of eggs,  except for about a half hour where she leaves to eat and drink.   It makes me a little sad, because I know all she wants to be is a mama but there are just way to many predators around here to hatch baby chicks.  Our favorite local feed store has fake eggs, so we bought a few and she is content sitting on them.  This can last anywhere from 2-8 weeks.  She also doesn't lay any eggs during this time, and she is grouchy as all heck.  I am hoping it doesn't last much longer. 

We have been trying to visit the beach as much as we can this year too.  I am a lifelong San Diego girl and the beach has always been a big part of my life.  The past couple summers we have only gone a few times each year, and it is just so weird to not take advantage of something that is almost right in your own backyard.  I have been determined to not take it for granted anymore.  

Today marks 6 weeks of going gluten free, and to be honest it has been much easier than I thought it would be.  The first two weeks were the most challenging, with me craving all my old comforts at each turn.  I also got a pretty crazy detox rash.   It has gotten so much easier, and now that I have completely changed the way I am eating I feel SO GOOD.  The best results have been that my eczema has disappeared, I've dropped 9 pounds so far, and I have been sleeping so much better.  I have always been a pretty healthy eater, and I am a veggie/greens lover to my core.  But removing gluten has just made me so much more aware of what I am putting into my body and where that food is not only coming from but what every ingredient in it is.    There are three items that have become staples for me.  The first one is Pamela's Baking Mix.  This stuff is so yummy and makes perfect pancakes, breads, and muffins. My husband even said he prefers pancakes from this mix over our homemade buttermilk ones we have made forever. They even sell it in a 4 lb. bag which is awesome for me since we are not only cooking for ourselves but a house full of kiddos during the day. 

It is definitely more expensive than traditional baking mixes, but to know I have a yummy alternative to flour it makes it worth it to me. 

The second item is LARABARs.  These little guys are so good, and so easy to grab when I don't have time to sit down and make myself something.  I even keep one in my purse when we are out.  They are all natural and most bars only have 2-3 ingredients in them.  My favorite flavor so far is Cherry Pie, so good.  

The third item is Almond Nut Thins crackers.  I am such a cracker girl, and I know crackers are not the healthiest thing out there, but I have to have them around.  Even if I just want to grab a few to snack on. These are delicious.

We have been eating a ton of salads, as it has been to hot to cook most nights.  My husband has come up with two in particular that are becoming my favorites.   My love has been so supportive of this GF journey of mine, and to be honest I could not have gotten this far without him being 100% in.  He now calls our dinners epic salad nights, and he is right they are epic!

The boy can cook.  I love the combos he comes up with.  Let's be real, I just love him period.  He is a good one. 

Well, holy moly that was a long post.  I hope all you beauties are having a wonderful summer so far.  Big love to you all.

::Soulsigh::

     

I have been open and honest here about our struggles with infertility and the way it can leave me feeling like I have been hit by a truck.  I have found many sources of healing and hope in these last few months.  Friends, family, books, self care.  It has all helped tremendously, along with some of the kindest words from some of you.  I have come to realize that I will carry this pain in one form or another for the rest of my life.  But, with that said I am always looking for ways to heal myself and my heart.  I have been a long time follower of Denise's blog.  Her gorgeous words, stories, and pictures have always touched me and brought me solace and comfort.  When she was talking about plans to release and e-course, I was all in.  Denise along with the gorgeous Hillary-Rain have created the e-course Soulsigh.  I could not be more excited for it, and I wanted to share it here in case any of you lovely women felt like joining in.  A circle of women is a powerful force, as I have been lucky enough to witness this year.  With Denise and Hillary-Rain at the helm, I could not feel safer. 

More about Soulsigh here.

soulsigh :: a sacred blessingway from Soulsigh on Vimeo.

The winner is....

Last night, I thought it would be a good time to pick a winner of the Red Tent Ritual Kit, since it was a new moon.  New beginnings....

This time I used Random.org to pick a winner.   And the winner is...

Raina Shannon!!

Please send me your email to Hollie27@cox.net, and I will put you in touch with Lindsay to claim your gorgeous kit.   Thank you to everyone who entered, and don't forget to check out all of Lindsay's gorgeous offerings here:  Whole Body Alchemy.

The proverbial fan....

The shit has it it.  Over the last few days I have watched something I truly love fall apart.  I've had a front row seat to its demise.  My stomach has felt like I am carrying around bricks.  My heart is heavy with sadness and a deep feeling of loss.  The truth could not be covered up anymore, and a small crack led to a earthquake of epic proportions.  Now that everything is wide open and the light has been shown, there is no turning back.  

This may be only an online group or class to some, but to me it was a place of solace and sisterhood.   A true place to ask and talk about the hard questions.

I will mourn this loss for some time.  I will take solace in the love, and deep connections I have made.  I know some of those will be lifelong, and for that I will be forever grateful.

The one lesson I have learned through this is...trust your gut.  ALWAYS.  When something does not sit with you do not keep pushing it away.  Let it out, shout it if you have to.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do.....

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

~Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver just gets it right every time in my book. Her words are full of such earthy beauty.  I can never get enough.  If you are new to the world of Mary Oliver and love poetry as much as I do, I recommend these two books.   New and Selected Poems, Volume One & New and Selected Poems, Volume Two.  Both are full of her greatest poems.  I hope they bring you solace and comfort if you choose to read them.  

I am being featured over on my friend Crystal's blog in her Babes With Blogs series.  Head on over to check it out, there are some wonderful ladies who are featured there.  Also, check out the rest of Crystal's blog, she is awesome!

Also, don't forget to enter the giveaway below for a chance to win a Red Tent Ritual Kit from the lovely Lindsay of Whole Body Alchemy, it is truly a wonderful gift.  

Red tent ritual kit & a giveaway!

Moontime, period, time of the month, Aunt Flo.  Whatever you call it, we all endure the monthly gift we are given.   I don't know about you, but mine is tumultuous at best.   Cramps, mood swings, and zero energy are just par for the course around here.  As I have gotten older, and been on and off fertility drugs for the past few years it has only gotten worse for me.  I am a huge proponent of a holistic lifestyle, but when my moontime rolls around my bottle of ibuprofen and I become best friends.   I really do not like putting anything non-natural into my body, but for a long time that was just the way it is.    I know this subject is still pretty taboo, and most women are really afraid to talk about it.  Even though mine is tough every month, I really do believe it is something we can all bond over.  When we open up and talk about it, it leads us to a better understanding not only of ourselves, but women as a whole.   We should be able to open up and share what works for ourselves, and how you listen to your body each month.   I have been looking for different ways to honor my body when my moontime is here, and have really been trying to be patient with my body and listen to what it needs during that time.  Self care is a huge part of that for me.  This past month I received a Red Tent Ritual Kit from Lindsay of Whole Body Alchemy.  If you have read some of my past posts you know how much I love Lindsay and her gorgeous offerings she has.  She truly makes magic, and each offering she has is full of love and intention.  This kit is no exception.  It is filled with beauty, and some beautiful ways to honor yourself and your body.

This is what you receive in the Red Tent Ritual Kit.  A 2 oz. tin of handcrafted tea, a kit on how to craft your own moon bag, and also a copy of Moondaughter's  moontime e-book, which includes worksheets and rituals.   Isn't it all beautiful?  I received mine just in time for my moontime.  When the time felt right, I sat down and brewed myself a cup of tea, and used Lindsay's guidelines to make my moon bag.

More about the tea in Lindsay's words:

This blend was inspired by a dream a dear friend had about me creating a feminine infusion for our monthly moon. 

Lovingly prepared using gemstone infusion of Moonstone, Carnelian,  Unikite and  sacred mantra.

Moonstone is gentle and soothing and encourages you to "go with the flow".  Carnelian is associated with the root and sacral chakras - it stabilizes energy and is known to revitalize the blood. Unikite is a gentle yet powerful stone that brings about connection and aids in female reproductive health. 

::Earthy and floral with a mildly spicy and fruity finish::

Organic botanical blend of: Red Raspberry leaf, Saw Palmetto Berries, Hibiscus, Shatavari, Vitex berries, Red rose petals and buds & Ginger root a little ,magic and a lot of love

I made mine with a little honey and it was warm and comforting.  I sat down in a quiet spot to make my moon bag.  So many beautiful offerings are included to craft yours, a beautiful hand painted stone, cedar leaves, feathers, seashells, little stones.  I added a few things of my own that felt right for me.   My moonstone pendant, snowy quartz (for tiredness),  chrysocolla (for cramps).  

I also included a little love note to myself, I put each piece in and filled the bag with healing and love.  I sealed it up, and I slept with it under my pillow or carried it with me when I was out of the house.  It brought me comfort having it near.  Now when each moontime rolls around, I am going to open it and add or remove things that feel right to me at the time.  

I also set aside a few minutes each day to work through Moondaughter's e-book.  It includes a load of tips, recipes, and wisdom to help you look at your body in a new light and truly celebrate the goddess we all have within us.  I loved sitting down and working through it each day.  

Now here comes a special treat for you.  Lindsay has lovingly and generously offered up one of her Red Tent Ritual Kit's to one of you!  All you have to do is leave a comment below, telling me how you would use this kit to honor yourself.   I will pick a winner next Monday the 8th!

To learn more about Lindsay and her offerings, please visit her site Whole Body Alchemy.  There is a lot of magic there to explore....